


turn on the light

by alternatedunham



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: Multi, lots of mentions of the battle of hogwarts and genocide / war / murder so do with that what you will, this is angsty but pretty hopeful toward the end so
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-22
Updated: 2014-08-22
Packaged: 2018-02-14 05:22:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2179518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alternatedunham/pseuds/alternatedunham
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which the clones are Harry Potter characters, featuring Felix, Beth, and Alison as the Golden Trio. Dedicated to Jenna, who is the sole reason this fic exists.</p>
            </blockquote>





	turn on the light

**Author's Note:**

> This lil fic is based on a tumblr post I made a couple weeks ago. I didn't plan on writing it, but my bud Jenna wanted me to, which is why it's dedicated to her. I don't think it's too hard to work out who's who, so I'm not gonna tediously explain it.  
> Also, the reason this fic more from Beth's POV is because this was originally written for Beth Childs, but, yeah, I failed miserably at that. Oops. Sorry.

It's been a year.

That's Beth's waking thought this morning; what she dreamed of last night; what's been on her mind the whole week, pressing, heavy and uncomfortable. The Burrow is quiet and cold with grief. Mrs. S is quicker to snap at her daughters and quicker to tear up, clamping a hand over her mouth, turning to hide it; Sarah is someone else completely, unbalanced without Helena, _alone_ without Helena. She hardly leaves her room anymore (once upon a time, explosions and loud laughter erupted from inside that room, sometimes annoying, sometimes even unbearable - Beth would give anything to hear those noises again, now that there's just Sarah's silence). Cosima moved out over Christmas break and is staying with her girlfriend Delphine now. They met at Jenn and Fleur's wedding; Delphine is Fleur's neighbor, best friends with Fleur's younger sister Danielle. The newlyweds themselves live, of course, at Shell Cottage; Katja was . . . somewhere. South America - maybe? Beth can't remember. She's been at Hogwarts since September, blocking out everything that wasn’t schoolwork as she completed the year she missed while searching for Horcruxes with Alison and Felix.

Everyone was sent home yesterday, no exceptions, like the building itself needs space to remember and mourn.

Beth slowly gets out of bed and makes her way down the stairs. Every meal used to be an event, but the liveliness of her home and her family was stolen. She eats breakfast with her mother and her father, Ethan, who both look very preoccupied, staring into space.

Rachel joins shortly after, straight-backed and proper, but also looking uncharacteristically hesitant. About a year and a half ago, she chose the government over her parents and sisters and Alison and Felix, severed her ties to them. Now, she’s trying to repair them, on thin ice at the moment. She spent the previous night at the Burrow to accompany her family to the cemetery this morning.

Every moment of Beth's is robotic. Finish eating; stand; put bowl in sink; go upstairs; get dressed; go downstairs; leave for graveyard with what is left of family.

This is the first time she's seen Sarah since Helena’s funeral. Her hair is long and ratty and she smells awful, like she's rotting too. She most likely hasn't showered recently. Her face is old-looking, which is quite a sad way for a (former) prankster to appear.

The graveyard is brimming with sullen people, including Beth’s girlfriend, Alison, who clasps her hand tightly as tears stream down her splotchy red cheeks. She’s probably been crying since before she even opened her eyes this morning, understandably.

Sarah lays down next to Helena's grave, her body the same distance apart from the stone as the twins' beds are. Or used to be. Beth doesn’t know whether Helena’s bed is still there or not, but she doesn't have more than a second to think about it, spotting Cosima and Delphine. She rushes to them, pulls her only younger sibling into her arms.

"We miss you at home," she murmurs into Cosima’s shoulder.

"You sound like Mum," is Cosima's only response, and she leaves to hug their parents, who return the embrace warmly, and Rachel, who is stiff. She knows better than to go near Sarah.

"You see Felix anywhere?" Beth asks Alison, eyes scanning the grieving crowd for him.

"He's not coming," she replies thickly. "Feels too guilty. He and Tony are spending the day together."

Beth nods.

Around them, families cling to each other; some people are wailing, some look mildly discomfort, others’ demeanors are in-between. When Beth remembers the battle, the emotions of that day return as raw and strong as ever, and so she tries not to remember. It’s supposed to over now, but today is sure proof that it’s not. Helena is gone forever, meaning huge parts of Sarah are too; Felix was orphaned as a baby and has suffered so much since; Tony’s parents are insane from being intensively tortured by Bellatrix; countless other people have been permanently damaged because of Voldemort and the Death Eaters. That can never be fixed or paved over or willed out of existence. He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named left his mark on the Wizarding world, and parts of the Muggle world as well.

 _But he’s not immortal_ , Beth thinks. _All this pain dies with us._ Voldemort is dead and gone and not coming back (again), but wizards and witches are still living. Going to keep living for - well, forever, hopefully.

The thought makes Beth smile, amongst this smog of tragedy. She wraps an arm around Alison, who she loves, who's with her today despite the Battle of Hogwarts. She survived, and so did Beth, and so did so many others. That had to be enough.

* * *

To Felix, Hogwarts is a home, the only one he's ever truly known. To Alison, it's a school, but she adores and lives for academia. To Beth, Hogwarts and the Burrow are two different kinds of home, two sides of the same coin. The Burrow was cramped and loud, brimming with people you loved some days and hated others. Hogwarts felt like somewhere you just belonged, the place you're supposed to be, no matter who you are.

But neither feels particularly like that anymore.

They have a ghost problem; cold, slimy fingers grasping at Beth's shoulders, her ankles, her neck. Helena's low, throaty voice and the thud of her heavy combat boots are against Beth's ears at home, and at school, the screams of her lost classmates are everywhere, heard by everyone.

Beth's heart is heavy and her mind is weary as she stands amongst her likewise heavy-hearted and weary-minded classmates in the Gryffindor common room. Everybody looks decades older, like Sarah, none of them speaking.

Suddenly, someone sweeps her up and swings her around, effectively (if temporarily) distracting her from the darkness pervading the room. She groans into Felix's shoulder, "I'm gonna be sick."

"You're a wuss," he complains, but puts her down. He lowers his voice, expression softening. "That hug was for Helena."

"Weird as she was, yeah?" Beth adds lightly. Felix never passed up an opportunity to comment on Helena's weirdness, which earned him plenty of bruises and a couple black eyes from Sarah over the years. She appreciates his respect of the dead, but his gesture's unnecessary.

Helena was very strange, and everybody knew it, and her not being on this Earth to continue doing strange things did not mean the strange things she did while alive never happened.

"Yeah," Felix agrees. "Weird as she was."

One day, it will be easier. The past tense and the ghosts and the painful press of survivor's guilt. But, already, she can joke about how Helena was and it doesn't feel like she's been set on fire. It hurts like hell, yeah, but she's smiling and it's (mostly) sincere. She'll be okay; the memories and the losses of the Battle of Hogwarts will always hurt, but she'll be okay. And maybe, _maybe_ everyone else - Felix, Alison, her parents, her sisters, her other friends - will too.  

"C'mon," Felix continues, his usual cheerfully flamboyant self now, grabbing Beth's hand and dragging her forward. "Let's go find your bookworm girlfriend and get this back-to-school party started.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not really sure about Felix's dialogue, but I don't want to drag this out any longer. Also, this is intentionally one of those AUs that doesn't shove one show's characters into the personality of the book/movie's characters, which is why Felix is 'cheerfully flamboyant.' And also totally dating Tony.  
> I hope you enjoyed!  
> \- Ellie


End file.
